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Sunday, February 14 2010 - 04:40 AM
JUST SOME BAPTIST BELIEFS???
I POST THIS, HOPING IT’S A JOKE!!!!!
PASTOR BILLY REUBANJHEW
Occupation
Baptist Preacher
Location
Libertydale, NC
Interests
Preaching the Gospel Rebuking Sinners Kicking Satan in the Butt
landoverbaptist.net
Old 09-18-2006, 11:00 PM
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Location: Libertydale, NC
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Default
Please post any new false religions you run across on this thread, so that they can be added to the register.
Amish
Submitted by: Mrs. Rogers
Worship: Hard work, mules, horses, and Satan.
Trivia Fact: The Amish think that they are saved through hard work and eschewing God’s gifts of electricity and modern technology. If God didn’t want us to have electricity, He wouldn’t have made lightning out of it, and He certainly wouldn’t have told Thomas Edison how to make electricity by rubbing two magnets together.
Asatru (Asstrue – an obvious reference to the copious amount of anal sex in their rituals)
Submitted by: Pastor Nerue Gargalo, JustAGuy
worship: The Mighty Thor, a character created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1962. They also worship the later characters, Thor’s evil half-brother Loki, Heimdal, Baldur, Sif, and Odin. But most important is the so-called “All-Father”, Satan himself.
Atheists/agnostics
Submitted by: the
worship: Satan and believe in the religion of Evolution and Science
Australian Abrollers
Submitted by: Pastor Nerue Gargalo
worship: Bunyips — which are demons in the form of a giant marsupial badger, and Satan
Bahai (Be high)
Submitted by: FUNdaMENTAL
Definition: Basically the same thing as the Unitarians, except they claim GOD told them to believe anything they want to.
Worship: Some guy named Bahulla Balooga, and Satan
Being f***ing decent to others despite our differences. (BFDtodod)
Submitted by: VGrid101
worship: Satan
Buddhists (boodists)
Submitted by: Pastor Nereu Gargalo
worship: an obese naked Chinaman, and Satan
Cargo Cults
Submitted by: Mrs. Rogers
worship: Coke bottles, banana crates, and Satan
catlicks (catlicks)
Submitted by: the
worship: Satan and Mary
Chinese Universists
Submitted by: Mrs. Rogers
Beliefs: A mess of ying/yang cosmology, taoist and boodhist nonsense.
Worship: Household gods, dead relatives, and Satan.
Deism
Submitted By: The Enlightenments
Worship: The “dual nature” of Satan.
Trivia Fact: This “religion” was invented by Thomas Jefferson solely as a ploy to keep references to Jesus out of the wicked U.S. Constitution.
Daoism/Taoism
Submitted by: SifuPhil, with additional information provided by Petal, Tim Tungtalker, and Glendora Christianson.
Definition: A pack of strung-out junkies perfoming Tai Chi, drinking Chai Tea, smoking pot, drinking beer, sleeping with every woman in town, drinking rum, and shoving bananas in various orafices. They claim to achieve everything by doing nothing and they believe in Ying Yan Yuck Yoo, the circle, half black, half white, half witted.
Worship: Nothing, everything, nature, and Satan.
Discordianism (Disco Accordionists)
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
Definition: Wannabe atheists who pray to a Greek goddess named Eric and think that saying fwords while stroking their penile glands is the way to salvation.
Worship: Eric, the number 23, and Satan.
Druidism (Drooish)
Submitted by: Mrs. Rogers
Definition: Bunch of sad English gits dress up in the local drama groups’ plastic chainmail, then run around the countryside waving cardboard swords at each other.
Worship: Stonehenge, Satan.
Eastern Orthodox Church
Submitted by: Phatcatlick
worship: Icons (paintings), dead bodies, fingers, toenails, incense and satan
Environmentalists (Tree-Huggers)
Submitted by: Patrick O’Kelley
worship: a minor demon named ‘Gaia’, spotted owls, snail darters, and Satan.
Episcapalians (Joe Piscapalians)
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: the King of England, and Satan.
Free masons jars
Submitted by: TemplarPHI
Definition: An ancient society of old men who think they can unravel the secrets of the universe by drinking liquor and playing poker for two hours every Wednesday night and who don’t realize how stupid they look in robes.
Worship: Archways, elevators, the letter ‘G’, and Satan.
Gnostics
Submitted by: Remy Lebeau
Definition: Animists who dabble in meditation, chanting and astral travel (destination – Hell), in an effort to gain demonhood. Keep potted plants and gravel as pets.
Worship: Satan, and an assortment of minor demons (fairies, gnomes, undines).
Goddess worship (Godless worship)
Submitted by: More Saved Than Thou
Beliefs: Basically, the opposite of whatever the Holy King James Bible teaches. This is particularly true in the area of male-female relations; in addition, since the Bible attaches such importance to eating meat, goddess worshipers tend to be vegans.
Practices: Hating men; channeling through crystals (Satan’s cell phones)
Clergy: Homeresses who are bitter about not being men, so they buy all of their clothes at Steven Windsor Big and Tall Men.
What they worship: The goddess (that is, Satan in drag)
Hindus (Hindaloos)
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: thousands of individual Demons, each masquerading as a god, and Satan.
New: Hitchhikers in the Galaxy
Description: People with no lives who have chanced upon a book and now parrot quotes from that book to explain everything in their dreary existence.
What they worship: The number 42, and Satan.
Hong Feng Shooey
Submitted by: More Saved Than Thou
Description: The ancient Oriental art of arranging your furniture so that Satan can move about more easily.
Clergy: Overpaid homer interior decorators; overpaid “postmodern” (i.e., homer) architects.
What they worship: Qi, which is a Chinese nickname for Satan.
Hottentots (Hot-to-trots)
Submitted by: Pastor Nerue Gargalo
worship: a minor demon named Gay-nab, and Satan
Injuns
Submitted by: Virginia D. Templeton
Definition: Feather-sporting savages, their faces red from shame at having rejected Jesus, who masturbate with the scalps of Christians and scheme to steal our money through their monolithic network of sin-ridden casinos.
Worship: The Great Spirit (AKA Satan), lesser spirits (AKA Satan), and buffalo.
Jainism (Jane-ism)
Submitted by: ayatollah moomintroll
Worships: Satan in a fluffy animal costume.
Jehovy Witnesses
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: Satan (God’s name is not Jehova, it is Jealous, see Ex 34:14)
Jews (Joos)
Submitted by: ayatollah moomintroll
Worship: money. And Satan
Juggalo Faith
Submitted by: Jenny D
Definition: Drug addicts who believe that not washing ones hair, wearing clown makeup, drinking cheap soda, and buying officially licensed merchandise makes one a ninja, not years of specialized martial arts training.
Worship: Clowns, Faggo, and Satan — the ringmaster of the Dark Carnival
Messianic Joodaism
Submitted By: Mrs. Rogers
Definition: Bunch of confused Joos trying to make amends for killing Jesus.
Worship: ‘Yeshua of Nazareth’ (Joo-speak for Jim Caviezel), and Satan.
Metropolitan Community “Church”
Sumbitted by: More Saved Than Thou
Description: A “church” that preaches have-a-nice-day Unitarianism to homers.
History: Founded by Troy Perry, who was so far out that not even the Pennycoastals wanted him around anymore.
What they worship: Leftist politics, rug-munching, and Satan.
Mithraism (Mythicallism)
Submitted by: Mrs. Rogers
worship: Mithras, son of Acura Mazda (see Zoroastrians), referred to as ‘the Light of the World’ by his demonic followers. This ‘religion’ is an obvious Satanic mockery of Christianity. According to this ridiculous myth, Mithras was born of a virgin, said ‘I am the way and the light, and only through me can ye be saved.’, went around performing miricles, held a last supper with his followers, and died to save mankind but was resurrected and ascended into Heaven. Some of the religious practices include ritualistic baptism, drinking wine and eating bread to symbolize Mithras’ blood and body, holding Sundays sacred, an an annual celebration of Mithras’ birth on December 25. This religion was popular among the Roman soldiers that were in charge of suppressing Jewish revolts between 200 BC and 70 AD.
Moonies (Loonies); official members of the Unification (Loonification) Church.
Submitted by: JonFish85
Worship: The sun, the moon, Sun Myung Moon, and Satan.
Trivia facts: Despite their gruesome recruitment methods (eg, threatening to cut off their target’s quivering fingers if said target refuses to sign up for Korean 101), many moonies are surprisingly sensitive about being called “moonies”, as it offends their delicate moonie sensibilities.
Mormons
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben, LSD Joe
Definition: Rural folks who believe that salvation can be had by marrying all of one’s female cousins and wearing goofy underwear.
Trivia fact: Believe that Jesus came back as a gunfighter in the old west.
worship: Nehi grape soda and Satan.
Muslims (mudslims)
Submitted by: the
worship: the Moon, although they are really bowing to Satan, who told them to worship the Moon
New agers
Submitted by: Mrs. Rogers
Definition: Bunch of white, middle-class baby boomers begin calling themselves silly names, e.g., ‘John-of-the-Purple-Thunder-Buttocked’, and ‘Red-Lady-of-the Moon-Menses’, in an attempt to give their lives more meaning.
Worship: Crystals, aliens, newspaper horoscopes, Satan.
Palo Mayombe aka Palo Montenegro
Submitted By: Moonflower13
Definition: Bobbing for human bones in a boiling cauldron.
Worship: a pair of bull-dyke demonettes named Nganga and Prenda.
Pentacostals (Pennycoastals)
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: snakes and Satan.
Presbyterians, Lex Lutherans, Baptists Other Than Landover Baptists, and Methamphetadists
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: think they worship Jesus, but because of their false, non-Baptist doctrines, they are so twisted around that they are really worshipping Satan. (I realize that “false” and “non-Baptist” are redundant, I’m just trying to drive the point home, praise Jesus!)
Puritans
Submitted By: Moonflower13, Brother Dave
Definition: A group of English Heretics who think they are saved by good works and drab clothes.
Worship: corn and Satan.
Quakers
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: oatmeal, and Satan.
Raelians (Ray-Aliens)
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: a group of Demons that pretend to be aliens from “other planets”, when everyone knows that there are no other planets, and those lights in the sky are just that — little lights a few miles up that can fall right to the ground if Jesus sneezes hard enough. See Rev 6:13.
Rastafarians (Pasta-Reefermans)
Submitted by: Friar Waire
worship: Satan — they are to stoned and lazy to worship anything, but because Jesus said, “He who is not with me is against me”, they worship Satan by default.
Reiki Followers
Submitted by: Brother Mike
Description: So called ‘energy healing’ which teaches satanic Hindu concepts as well as satanic Pagan concepts. The healing is perverted, they ‘lay hands’ on each other which is just an excuse to practise homersexuality and adultery.
History: Founded by some homersexual Japanese gook.
What they worship: Angels and a new age God which is of course satan and his demon minions in disguise.
Rosacruces
Submitted By: Moonflower13
Definition: Brazilian trash eating psilocybin mushrooms and digging through gravel pits.
Worships: rocks, rock spirits, rock music, and Satan.
Salvation Army
Submitted by: JonFish85
Definition: Elderly panhandlers with a fetish for army uniforms. These degenerates sing and play tambourines for money, usually at the entrances of Godly Corporations™.
Worship: Musty old clothing, musty old people; but both old and new money.
Santeria (Satanism)
Submitted by: Mrs. Rogers
Definition: Bunch of cathylicks get honest with themselves and quit pretending to love JESUS.
Practices: Sacrificing chickens, possession by Satan.
Worship: Dead cathylicks and Satan.
Satanists
Submitted by: the
Worship: Satan
Scientologists
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: Satan and Elron Hubbard is his prophet.
Seculiar Humanists
Submitted by: Pastor Billy-Reuben
worship: themselves, and Satan.
Shinto
Submitted by: Mrs. Rogers
Definition: The Japs, their minds muddled by Confucianism (i.e., Satanism), begin making tiny paper swans out of serviettes (origami) to appease their dead relatives. This is when they are not busy worshipping the Jap royal family (i.e., Satan), or performing ritual dances (i.e., possession by Satan).
Worship: Dead relatives, and Satan.
Sikhism (Sick-ism)
Sumbitted by: More Saved Than Thou
History: A group of demon-possessed people in India weren’t sure whether they could outrage Jesus more by becoming hindaloos or mooselimbs, so they picked the worst aspects of both religions.
Beliefs: Their false god commands them to wear turbans, grow scruffy beards, and manage gas stations.
What they worship: Ceremonial daggers and Satan.
Unitarians
Submitted by: Born Again Bob
worship: Satan. This religion represents a unification of every false religion and their followers are allowed to choose their own paths to Satan.
United Church of Christ
Submitted by: Larry Lee
The once-glorious True Christian™ Church of the Pilgrims and Puritans (who can forget “Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God”) has, in our time, so utterly embraced Satan that even the members of the UCC Divine Revelation that their Church’s initials stand for ‘Unitarians Considering Christ.’ Furthermore, these debased hellhounds advocate the ordination of women and even install women as the pastors of congregations that include men. Lastly, I hope you’re sitting down this malignant group welcomes gays and lesbians into their worship services and communities. Jesus weeps! Recently, they were in the news because the television networks refused to air their recruitment tape.
Worship: Satan
Vampirism
Submitted By: Moonflower13, Brother Dave
Definition: a sexual perversion in which pleasure and especially sexual pleasure is obtained by the drawing of blood
Worship: bats, blood, gay blood orgies and Satan.
New: Various agricultural religions of antiquity
Beliefs: To ensure a good harvest, a deity had to be incarnated in human form every year just to be sacrificed. Adherents never quite got around to explaining why all that was necessary; surely an omnipotent God could ensure a good harvest just by saying, “Let there be a good harvest.”
What they worshiped: Crops, the seasons, and Satan.
Voodoo
Submitted By: Moonflower13, Brother Dave
Definition: Voodoo combines the worst elements of two other Satan-glorifying religions, Witchcraft and catlickism. Believers are able to call upon demons to turn corpses into zombies under their control.
Worship: the Pope, toy dolls and Satan.
Wiccans (wickedans) aka Witches
Submitted by: the
worship: Satan
Zoroastrians (Zorro-Astrologists)
Submitted by: Sri Krishna Chapata
worship: a demon named Acura Mazda, and Satan. This religion was created by Satan (HaShatan) solely to mock the religion of the Israelites while under Babylonian captivity, adding insult to injury.
__________________
Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God’s Holy Word.
✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
__________________
lancaster says...
the last sentence sounds REAL FAMILIAR.
This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd.
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Captain Jason says...
I, too, hope fervently that this is a joke. It would be scary to think that there are such ignorant people out there that would actually believe this claptrap as being any semblance of truth.
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saywhat says...
This has got to be a joke. I would hope none who follow Christ would look on their fellow man like this.
Although I believe Sherry Marquez agrees with the Muslim part.
So maybe there are those who believe this. As much as I hope otherwise!
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Captain Jason says...
If truly written, then this clown needs to do a little research into history… Thor is an invention of Stan Lee in 1962?? ROFL!!!
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marino says...
This sounds almost as crazy as the stuff goin’ on at Trinity.
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Have Faith says...
It’s called in-doctrine-ation. People will believe what they are told by people they know. Especially when they suffer retribution for asking a question, and in the absence of access to other information (the tv is tuned to Fox News). There’s a reason they say “I believe”.
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Have Faith says...
There are those who believe we never went to space, that Hitlers holocaust did not happen, that Obama is not a US citizen. The list is endless what sheep will believe.
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Have Faith says...
Talking about believers where’s RH been this weekend? Dressing in womens underwear with the valentine DBW says looks like a man? Killing bugs? Or did his master pull his plug after the abortion confession? That had to be bad for their appeal to the oh-so-christian set.
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Sovereignty Soldier says...
Some looks real, and some look like a joke. Like the cargo one. I will say instead of asking these people if it is real, keep researching each one individually. Not everything in this world is as it appears. I know that is a cliche but it is also fact.
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Anson Smith says...
LandoverBaptist is a parody site. Using them as a reference is like using The Onion as a news source. ROFLOL!
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marino says...
Anson,
“Using them is like using The Onion as a news source.”
Or even MSNBC!
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marino says...
Speaking of news networks. I’m not sure, but this may have been CNN. A little bad luck at thew Obama household.
Obama’s Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
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Cybertariat says...
In light of the absurd and often macabre and therefore psychotic premises of dogmatic religions (most particularly Christianity’s “Rapture”), might it matter as to whether or not the website’s hosts are joking? I say – no it does not matter. For, to all but those who are unable to think critically, dogmatic religions are a joke to begin with (albeit a joke that carries with it some extremely debilitating consequences.)
*
Christianity: The ultimate totalitarianism?
.
Persevere…
Guy…
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dbeardw says...
Have Faith says…
Talking about believers where’s RH been this weekend? Dressing in womens underwear with the valentine DBW says looks like a man? Killing bugs? Or did his master pull his plug after the abortion confession? That had to be bad for their appeal to the oh-so-christian set."
All I know is that anyone who verbally castrates others based on religious or any other beliefs then talks about sanctioning the killing of his own fetus is somehow not sure of where he stands. I wasn’t going to give him a pass after all the dirt he heaped on me. Blood is on his hands as well as all those he demeans for the same action.
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dbeardw says...
I hope RH got a valentine from somebody. Here we go again — he’s always bragging about how he opens the door for his wife, etc. And???? So what..
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Randy Hall says...
Its been a wonderful weekend. Tomorrow will be busy as well.
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Cybertariat says...
Glad to know that, cuz. I’m glad to know that.
Last night’s dinner out and uh … dessert in was wonderful here, too. And to think that March 14th is but a month away. :-)—
Persevere…
Guy…
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avbornbred says...
The comments about christians on this blog by some of the none believers are incredible. It is obvious a lot of the bloggers here are Christians, both Republican and Democrat. What amazes me, is that bloggers will go after DBW for her beliefs, but then criticize Sherry Marquez for her remarks. Hmmm!
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dbeardw says...
Randy Hall says…
Its been a wonderful weekend. Tomorrow will be busy as well."
Glad you’re sharing again. Nothing like here exiting stuff from you.
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Have Faith says...
I’m a Christian on the blog, and what amazes me much more us the evil, unchgristian things some people do in the name of Jesus. It’s blasphemous, they are abominations unto the Lord, and yet their “friends” defend them. Christianity is about forgiveness, and DBW confessed and asked our forgiveness and the Lord’s. Marquez doesn’t have a clue, poor little ignorant piglet, trailing around to follow the crap selfish pigs that have run our town into the ground.
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Have Faith says...
That help you understand bred instead of born of love?
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AVSkyEye says...
As someone once said, “There’s the Christian Right, then there are right Christians”.
I don’t criticize Christianity. I’m a Christian myself. But the conservative Christian political movement—aka “churchers” (which odes of “birthers” which rhymes with “flat earthers” which places all three terms neatly in the same bin of irrationality)—is a mere subset of Christianity (at best).
The bulk of the makeup of the right wing conservative Christian movement is nothing more than the modern-day equivalent of the biblical Pharisees. If you don’t remember who the Pharisees were, look it up in the bible. And you’ll think you’re reading about today’s Christian right.
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lancaster says...
i don’t know what to call them. having ran from “religion” about the time i started paying rent, i can’t say what’s happened in all them houses of god.
but i do remember a time when “christians” were a group of people that at least pretended to follow the word of the lord!
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lancaster says...
now a days, all that jesus spoke of, “christian” seems to mean the opposite of.
to feel sympathy for those who struggle.
to help those who don’t have.
to watch people fall off the straight and narrow, and want to help them get back up.
have all become “weak”, “liberal”, “feelings”, or better yet “contributing to the problem”! (i say that with the full knowledge of the “enabling” theory", which i don’t entirely disagree with).
we’re supposed to even believe that kids have some special power to be more adults, then adults.
so we can make em pay as adults!
and “Christianity” seem to be all about getting rich, living well, getting power, being envied", and holding others responsible for….well…doing something unacceptable. even going to war for these things.
and the never ending fear that they may give something, anything to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
like that’s the worst thing that could ever happen! in this world or the next.
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lancaster says...
yet i know that they’re are those who still try to follow the words of they’re god, jesus.
i just don’t know what to call them.
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Harding Republican says...
Disciples of Jesus. Not Christians…. Disciples of Jesus.
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Captain Jason says...
Y’know, it’s funny… I remember the various parts of the bible that tell of how being christian will become hated by all the people, but it doesn’t ever say why that might be. Perhaps current events might shed some light on that with the hyperchristian right attempting to force-feed their religion on everybody else? Mayhaps the bible is accurate on that subject, but left out that the reason would be because the term ‘christian’ becomes equivalent to ‘pharisee?’
Just a thought.
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Harding Republican says...
The word “Christian” appears only three times in the Bible. Disciple of Jesus is a much more description of a true follower of Christ. Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, all descriptive of a particular belief system.
Disciple of Jesus Christ is one who tries to imitate Him in all things. Much more primitivist, much more real.
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Captain Jason says...
As I have said so many times before… God is God, religion is merely a creation of man.
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Cybertariat says...
Actually, AVSkyEye, Jesus Christ was no mere liberal; he was likely to have been humankind’s first social revolutionary. But, and make no mistake about it, there exists not a shred of evidence which would serve to substantiate the imbecilic claim that Christ was the son of this mythical “God” creature – this mean, malignant thing in the sky. Jesus Christ was a mortal human being – an amazingly gifted human being, but a human being nonethelss who came to be assassinated by the powers that be of his time just as countless other revolutionaries of various stripes have come to be assassinated since the time of Christ. But, though his teaching which have been perverted by Christianity live on, Jesus Christ is dead and gone, and never but never shall he return.
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Shake of the fears of survile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. —Thomas Jefferson. (Empahsis not in original).
Persevere..
Guy…
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Randy Hall says...
If by “liberal” you mean Jesus would sanction the mass murder of the unborn, and condemning generations to dependence on welfare programs; I don’t think so.
Nuff said.
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Cybertariat says...
Quite obviously, were Christ with us today, he would possess a keen understanding of the material limitations born of capitalist rule which causes abortion to be the necessary “evil” that it so often is, all abstract moralities held by the likes of Randy notwithstanding.
Persevere…
Guy…
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The Duke says...
interesting how one can believe in jesus christ simply based on writings in a book but cannot believe there is a god even though this god is described in the same book. somewhat confusing.
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Randy Hall says...
Guy, if what you said was true the birth rates in rich countries would be much higher.
Also, why use the word “evil,” which denotes an “abstract morality?”
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Randy Hall says...
Duke, Guy knows Jesus because he’s a historical figure like his “moral” authority Karl Marx is a historical figure.
Guy simply disbelieves all the eyewitness accounts of Jesus’ miracles.
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The Duke says...
but he has visual evidence of marx but none of jesus. tells me he can simply base his opinion soley on faith, which is precisely what religion mandates. so how can he possibly legitimize the idea that jesus did exist but god does not if the only frame of reference he has at his disposal is a book that describes both? a major contradiction if you ask me. if he does not believe there is a god,one would naturally assume that he would not believe in jesus either.
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Cagy Wolf says...
Cyberidiot opposed to your god Marx the real God seems quite tame at least the new testement version of god.
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AVSkyEye says...
Randy makes the case.
With his Pharisee-like judgementive dismissal of liberal Jesus because, obviously, in Phariseeland, Jesus would have nothing to do with aborters (….or prostitutes, or tax collectors). Good Christian’s don’t do such things! Harumph!
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Randy Hall says...
Duke, there is historical evidence above and beyond The Bible to prove the man Jesus existed.
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Randy Hall says...
Aveye, I never said that. Jesus went out of His way to be with sinners ect.
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AVSkyEye says...
….very much unlike today’s homeschooling, pop culture avoiding, separate-themselves-from-the-oh-so-evil-world Christian right.
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Cybertariat says...
Randy is correct, although there are a number of interesting and perhaps credible accounts which depict Jesus Christ as having been a fictional character – the result of an amalgamation of several real-life historical figures, there are indeed non-biblical sources of information which tend to substantiate Christ’s existence. But it may well be that Jesus Christ was in fact but a fictionalized fusion of a number of actual historical figures – of any number of revolutionaries. Either way, it does in fact show that, though quite rudimentary, the class struggle did exist within this ancient world at last as much as it relates to an analytical framework; that certain indivduals were in their forefronts demonstrates that these early liberation movements did exist. Whether or not any of these individuals happened to have been named “Jesus Christ” is ultimately immaterial.
Ergo, I “legitimize the idea that Jesus did exist but that God does not” (The Duke) through both historical materialism and reason. The former being that the trials and tribulations of one Jesus Christ – may he have been real or fictional – are very much in keeping with the experiences of other revolutionaries throught the course of humankind’s history, while the latter flows from what I find to be simple common sense, that a belief in “God,” not to mention “immaculate conceptions,” “virgin births,” “ressurections,” global floods, etc., etc., to senseless etc., is not only completely baseless but also wholly laughable.
Randy: "Guy, if what you say were true [that the material limitations born of capitalist rule causes abortion to be the necessary “evil” that it so often is] then the birth rates in rich countries would be much higher [sic]."
If we are to believe such things as, say, “Overpopulation causes poverty,” then yes, we could also suppose that “The wealthier one is the more likely one is to bear multiple children.” But the reality is that wealthy people bear fewer offspring simply because they needn’t depend upon their children to support them in their dotage; and that poverty causes overpopulation as a result of poor people having to depend upon their offspring to support them in their dotage (a reality which is further complicated by the fact that in many parts of the world a significant percentage of children die well-before reaching adulthood). Therefore, it would be highly illogical to conclude that “If poor women opt to abort due to poverty, then wealthy women must opt to bear more children due to affluence.” (This last factor is of course much different within most of the Third World where the dynamics surrounding both childbirth and child rearing are much different than in the Industrialized World.)
Randy: “…why use the word ‘evil’ which denotes an ‘abstract morality’?”
First of all, despite my complete repudiation of the existence of “evil” – at least as it relates to it as being a force, I wouldn’t have previously thought that you would regard so-called evil as being given to an abstract morality, Randy. Won’t you please tell me why it is that you see it that way?
Beyond that, in using the term “evil,” I clearly placed it within quotation marks just as I have here, thereby pointing out that I employed the term in lieu of better termonology.
Randy: “Duke, Guy knows Jesus becaus he [Jesus] is an historical figure just like his ‘moral’ authority Karl Marx is an historical figure. Guy simply disbelieves all the eyewitness accounts of Jesus’ miracles [sic].”
Short of the fact that Karl Marx does not serve as my “moral authority,” Randy’s assessment is essentially correct.
(To be continued … I hope ;-(
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Persevere..
Guy..
Member-at-large (since 1990):
Socialist Labor Party of America (est. 1890).
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The Duke says...
ever wonder how god was invented if he indeed, as guy persists, does not exist? at some point in time someone had to conjur up the idea that god is our creator. so to take this debate to yet another level, how can anyone suggest they agree that jesus did walk this planet, even though no visual evidence exists and proof of life is based soley on writings, but yet not believe that god does? if one were to assume for a minute that god does not exist, then would it not be an interesting idea to determine where this god myth began and who designed this hoax that has affected billions of humans? if guy is correct, than the god hoax has to be considered genius as it has spread to every corner of the planet. the person who constructed this fable needs to be identified and i am hoping guy can shed some light on the mystery.
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Randy Hall says...
Oh, I forgot “morality” is an “abstract” its self.
A dogma, like following a “science” is a “morality” or at least like you said “in lieu of better termonology.” That is why I call Marxism a religion. Because of the people that hold the “science” as truth follow it with a religious zeal.
I also call Marxism a “religion” because it has never been proven as a “science” and those that have have failed in blood baths. In other words the Marxist must take his “science” of faith, till the “second coming.” I used second coming “in lieu of better termonology.”
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CASimons says...
Once again, Guy provides a well thought out article. Tho, I am not swayed to the aspect of a non-spiritual world force, I have to give him plaudits for his defense of his position.
Yes, the class struggle has existed from the very beginning. We learn this in early childhood. Even chickens have it. The ‘pecking order’ is played out every day in the feed yard, the schoolyard, the prison yard and yes, even in real life.
Every revolution that has tried to ‘equalize’ humanity has ultimately produced those who would lead, or be at the top, and those who would follow. If one would disagree with the ‘leader’ then he/she would be ‘re-trained’ or punished.
Holy Writ admonishes us that ‘there is neither Jew nor Greek, male nor female’, and yet we see that there is a hierarchy established in ecclesiastical settings.
From the world stage to the local stage, albeit two different arenas, we see that played out. I choose for my example John McArthur and Fidel Castro.
Very different people indeed. Yet, when they sit among their respective leadershiop groups thre is no question that they are the number one go to guy.
‘Number one among equals’ I believe this is the term that is used.
I wish for all, no matter where you are in the ‘pecking order’, a great and wonderful day! ;)
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CASimons says...
and yes, somtimes I have spelling errirs
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Randy Hall says...
Duke, greater thinkers than us have pondered your question. I suggest you search for the philosopies of reality. In that you will find logical debates to why and how we exist.
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Have Faith says...
“Greater thinkers than us”. What a laugh. Try a basic philosophy course, required by even the community college to develop critical thinking skills, and your questions will be easily answered. What a laugh I’m going to bust a stitch.
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The Duke says...
i offered the previous missive as a counter argument of logical thinking focusing on how guy can believe in one unproved entity whose life was dedicated to a god that guy suggests is a myth. i am a believer, i do not question if or if not. i know god exists because i allow faith to guide me. if i were to only accept tenents of life than can be supported by absolute truth, then i would embrace very few realities. having faith is difficult, discarding faith is very easy.
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Randy Hall says...
CJ, this is what I face, HF, comes on here in a condescending manor and tries to denigrate anything I write. Instead of instructing us of his/hers viewpoint, we get finger pointing and your just dumb comment.
If I try the same thing instead of seeming erudite like a condescending lib (notice no generalization) I’m considered an idiot. Instead of offering a helping hand to understand I’m pigeonholed and am simply to dumb to take seriously.
It’s ok; I measure my life, and find it very rewarding so this blog never rises to much more than entertainment to me. Guy once in a while slips into personal attack but not generally like this blog’s libs do.
Now if that was “denigrating” to HF, oh well.
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Randy Hall says...
Duke, the concept of “absolute” to Guy simply doesn’t apply. As DBW said there are no absolutes only shades of grey. She and Guy both ignore death as an absolute.
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Have Faith says...
Faith is not blind. God is known to those who follow his Commandments and his Word. Those who love rather than judge, those who seek to learn rather than teach, know God, and it is no teach to believe. Those whose eyes are on earthly things, who covet, who betray what they know because God shows them and yet they betray, for them there is only fear. They cannot trust their neighbor because they cannot trust themselves; thus faith in God is something they can only read about, or hear about. They can never know faith or God or the beauty of the human spirit.
RH, you should not worry that you are too stupid; you should seek truth instead. If you tried to have compassion and an open mind to more basic things than these “erudite” concepts, you could find truth, and respect. That is, provided that your emotional psyche is intact, which is still at question.
Faith is doing what is right; it is not preaching. Faith is eschewing the trappings of the church and understanding God made every rock and made not one church. Faith is loving every imperfect soul including yourself.
God knows if he can win your soul, the earth is a garden. And if your soul cannot love, all is lost. For as long as your thoughts doubt Jesus, it is too hard to resist the gold coin, and Jesus will be betrayed to those in power, the weak are fed to lions, and the garden dies.
Nazis were righteous in their superiority as we see in Lancaster government now. You symbolize the support of that government, Judas with the gold coins in your pocket, and come on this blog questioning why some of us denigrate you, both trying to shake you from your trance and also releasing our angers at you because you symbolize all that is evil in our community to us.
There are those heroes in history and in the Bible who turned things around after being in the fold. It could be you.
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Randy Hall says...
Interesting HF, thank you. You are absolutely right.
Now does the concept of no love or appreciation fit me? Is that your judgment of me?
I don’t worry if others view me as stupid. I’m very happy in my skin.
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Randy Hall says...
“Nazis were righteous in their superiority as we see in Lancaster government now. You symbolize the support of that government, Judas with the gold coins in your pocket, and come on this blog questioning why some of us denigrate you, both trying to shake you from your trance and also releasing our angers at you because you symbolize all that is evil in our community to us.”
Sorry you judge me so harshly. Did your Jesus teach that to you?
Catholic means “universal.”
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marino says...
Randy,
HF is scorned. Somethin’ goin on at his household. Shit happens, HF. Be patient. Things will work out.
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dbeardw says...
Randy Hall says…
If by “liberal” you mean Jesus would sanction the mass murder of the unborn, and condemning generations to dependence on welfare programs; I don’t think so.
Nuff said. "
Randy you judge everyone who does not accept your point of view harshly. Even those who have done what you have done you judge harshly. And you think God forgives you for being a hypocrite?
You participated in the same acts.
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lancaster says...
i found this while i was doing a little religion research.
can anyone tell me if they’re joking?
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