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Wednesday, July 07 2010 - 07:54 PM
BP Says Gulf Oil Must Be Changed
July 7, 2010
BP Says Oil in Gulf Must be Changed Every Six Months
Bad Situation Gets Worse
GULF OF MEXICO (The Borowitz Report) – At a time when many thought that news out of the Gulf of Mexico couldn’t get any worse, BP announced today that the oil in the Gulf needs to be changed every six months.
“The oil will need to be changed every six months or every 15,000 lies,” said the BP spokesman. “Whatever comes sooner.”
The announcement about the oil change came on the heels of BP’s decision earlier in the week to separate the Gulf into two sections, full-serve and self-serve.
Sensing that the company was staring down a deepening public relations disaster, BP CEO Tony Hayward attempted to sound a compassionate note: “If this sort of damage were being inflicted on my yacht, I would be devastated.”
According to experts, the BP oil spill is now the second-worst leak in U.S. history, after Michael Steele’s mouth.
lancaster says...
we need to adopt one rule from the chinese.
CEO’S that cause this kind of destruction need to be put to death!
put em in check real quick!
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Randy Hall says...
"" The Associated Press reports there are 27,000 abandoned wells in the Gulf. They don’t cite one that’s leaking, but you’re supposed to get scared to death and go along with Obama’s moratorium on drilling. Meanwhile, you’re not supposed to know that the Cubans, ChiComs, Russians, Angolans, Vietnamese and Spanish are going to be drilling off the Florida Keys. In fact, Cox News reports that’s just a rumor spread by George Will and Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh and Fox News." " —Rush
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mattkeltner says...
We haven’t even begun to feel the psychological effects that the Gulf Oil Spill will have on the mental health of residents in the region and those whose livelihoods are dependent on industry there. All because someone wanted to get rich and stay rich.
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lancaster says...
toyboy is a bit slow on the uptake!
IT ONLY TAKES ONE!
oh, that’s right, TB believes the fact that millions will be affected forever is OK, cuz our lifespans have increased.
and now he quotes the rights favorite drugster, rush. remember people, rex has given this clown power.
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lancaster says...
remember MK
jesus said “greed is good”! (didn’t he? or was that reagan?)
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Randy Hall says...
Lanc, since when did “millions” get immortality?
I wonder about the “psychological effects” of substandard public education we forced into the inner cities. Think it will cause out of wed-lock births, fatherless homes, dependency, crime, ect? Oh yah, it did. What a crime of greed that is.
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lancaster says...
now ur lying tb. u want substandard public education. it’s what u and urs have worked for, so why bitch now?
but then it worked for u. just like it’s working for ur kid. u’ll just do ur best to make sure it stops at urs.
u give up ur FREE health care from ur wife’s teaching job yet?
didn’t think so, hypocrite!
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lancaster says...
u follow that “greed is good” teaching tb?
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lancaster says...
how long was ur kid in a fatherless home? did public education do that. or was it some personal defect on ur part?
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Randy Hall says...
Sorry lanc, my children always had a father. But as far as ignoring reality here are some facts for you.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2006-06-20-dropout-rates_x.htm
Course facts mean nothing to someone who feels their way around but just to continue with the vilification of Randy. It is your only hope.
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lancaster says...
don’t need to vilify u tb. u saying after ur 1st divorce ur kid lived with u??
or r u lying again?
yeah, feeling like all them gulf residents FEEL they’ve been screwed?
but u got no FEELINGS for them TB?
just like any animal out there, it is easy to believe u don’t belong to the race where feeling is what makes us different. so what kinda critter r ya? snake, lizard, rat?
how’s that tax paid for medical care going for ya tb.
ur daughter going back to public school in the fall?
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Randy Hall says...
Lanc, you want me to make unfounded statements about your family? Is it what you want me to do is make stuff up about you like you do about me? Are you to be my example of what a good person is lanc? You really want me to act like you do? I can you know. I might start acting like you. I could be fun actually. But as with me your family isn’t the issue. So I don’t see the point in making accusations about your family and personal appearance. Best to stick to the non-personal stuff; well some of us will. Others simply don’t grasp the concept of what we could accomplish if we were after diversity of thought instead of vilification of opponents.
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marino says...
The biggest leak is Obama’s mouth. He made a few promises and has kept none.
The U.S. government hired BP years ago. Perhaps during their meetings our government should have verified the fix for a similar leak. Guess it was bypassed by green.
At least those that voted for Obama know now what a POS he and his Admin are. Better late than never. I tried to tell you before he was elected. :-)
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roxi says...
BP courts Mideast investors
LA Times/7/8/10
“…BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward has reportedly told the government of Abu Dhabi, a U.S. ally, that the company would be open to selling the emirate an ownership stake of up to 10% (shares)”
So the Cons beloved Corporation is willing to risk National Security to save their ass! Brilliant!
Also, in the same paper there’s a story about an exec from Trans Alaska Pipeline who just quit – who’s under investigation. Hostler was previously a senior VP for BP.
Yes, there’s thousands of abandon wells in the Gulf that have been leaking for years, it’s unknown how they were capped – and there’s been no oversight since the mid ’90’s. Surfers have known for years that the wells have been leaking off the coast of Santa Barbara, as they come across ‘tar balls’ quite often.
TIME TO GO GREEN and turn our backs on the ‘oil wars’ that our sons and daughters have to die for.
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roxi says...
marino:“The U.S. government hired BP years ago. Perhaps during their meetings our government should have verified the fix for a similar leak. Guess it was bypassed by green.”
Perhaps these negotiations were made during Cheney’s secret meetings? We’ll never know, will we?
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marino says...
Why isn’t Obama blaming Bush for the time it’s taking to plug a hole? At least Obama is now accepting outside help. He’s our president.
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lancaster says...
tb
u want to pontificate on this blog, daily, yet u don’t want ur hypocrisy pointed out, daily.
so stop the preaching and judging.
u stand up for corporations that KILL people and land. u give simplistic, answers for complex issues that appear to be over ur head.
“it’s all good, the screw ups of oil companys, cuz we live longer then we used to”.
u suggest that humans hold domain over ALL species cuz we are different. as in feelings and thumbs, yet u accuse anyone disagreeing with u of baseing all arguments on feelings.
yet u actively work to destroy the things u profit from. u FEEL public schools have nothing to offer, yet YOU, YOUR WIFE, YOUR KIDS, AND YOUR MASTER REX have ALL been educated, if not all some basic k thru 12, or college, by public schools.
u FEEL your taxes shouldn’t cover ANYONE’S education, as both ur children, and YOUR health (as in insurance), profit from public education.
u accuse public education of causing all ills in today’s family’s, yet,
u want NO comparisons drawn between ur accusations of other family’s troubles, and your FEELINGS that these r troubles others will NEVER overcome, yet u and rex have managed to both profit, screw up, and move on.
ur just sssoooo twisted TB.
and as far as PERSONAL INFO is concerned, u have plastered every aspect of your life on this blog.
u seem to think ur a pretty interesting guy. i think there r things NO ONE needed to know about u. but u just can’t seem to help urself. i know i would have been better off not knowing ’em!
so stop purging ur soul, on one of the most public forums u could find!
or get over it. i have refused to speak of many of the facts u have insisted on posting here! i just find ’em creepy!
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Ray Cunneff says...
The Gulf of Mexico will be dead for decades, along with the way of life that has made the region so vibrant and important for so long.
We’ve been polluting the Gulf for a long time, but nothing like this. I spent a summer on the west coast of Florida (Mediera Beach) in 1959. I was a scuba diver (age 14) and would often dive late into the evening. It was common to see phosphorus trails in the water from chemical plants hundreds of miles away. What we’ve been doing to the waters of the Gulf (and to our planet in general) is nothing new. It’s just reached the stage where people finally start to take notice.
Time to go green NOW.
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