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Tuesday, November 10 2009 - 03:55 PM
Shocking Accusations of Influence Peddling
LANCASTER – In a move that is shocking the local business community, Lancaster Mayor R. Rex Parris is being brought up on ethics charges by Lancaster Boulevard business owners. “The man is crazy,” said Steve Real, owner of Boulevard Building Blocks. “He thinks because he’s mayor that he can do anything he wants!”
Mr. Real’s statement is based on an accusation that Mayor Parris cut in line at the Brooklyn Deli during lunch rush recently. Other patrons of the Boulevard Deli said that Mayor Parris walked into the eatery with his armed bodyguards, and proceeded to glare at people who were in front of him in line. One witness who asked not to be named for fear of having trucks parked in front of their house and shoe polish on their windows said, “I was waiting in line like everybody else when he started looking at all the people in front of him. People started whispering that the Mayor was in line and that people who get in his way come to bad ends. I didn’t want my knish THAT bad. I moved.”
Apparently the mayor ordered a turkey sandwich with light mayonnaise and a diet soda. Fortunately for the other hungry patrons they didn’t have to wait for the bodyguards to order since it seems that they don’t eat.
Mayor Parris could not be reached for comment because he’s dealing with other weighty matters related to City business.
AAArai says...
These are serious charges that must be investigated. Do you think the Mayor would investigate himself? If not then who? I doubt we will ever get to the bottom of this scandal.
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RealSteve says...
So it was supposed to be light mayo, but we know that the person behind the counter gave TRex extra egg mayo.
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Bill Parris says...
A turkey sandwich, wouldn’t that be cannibalism?
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dbeardw says...
Why waste time bringing him up on ethics charges for a sandwhich. There are more important issues to serve as ethics complaints.
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dbeardw says...
And??? Rex, isn’t it nice you told us about you.
Besides, who cares. Isn’t it wonderful to know mayor Rex has private bodyguards everywhere he goes. He didn’t even have to walk into the deli. I’ve been in his office where he simply tells his minions what to order for him and they run out and get it. Why would he go to the deli? That’s not like the mayor.
OOPs, I know many of his habits. Didn’t mean to share too much. The story just sounds fishy.
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